"New Year, Same Me"
Late declaration of my new year mantra.
I am so excited to send out my first of many Substack writings. I will be sharing my human experience with you and taking you along with me on the journey of mind spiraling. I’m so happy you are here.
I’m not gonna lie, 2023 was hard. The earthquakes in Turkey, the election, family issues, ongoing genocide… It was a total roller coaster. As hard times often are, this year was transformative for me tho. I truly felt something in me shifted, I felt lost, felt my life was falling apart, then I picked these parts and honestly, got rid of many of them and placed them back in a whole different way. I didn’t paint for fun for almost 5 months. It’s been the most I’ve gone without touching my brushes. When you are in survival mode, it is hard to create. My anxiety was all-time high which led me to start seeing my therapist (the best thing I’ve done last year) and taking meds. It was a relief seeing the world without all the fear and hopelessness. When the world gets too dark for me to cope, I tend to dissociate and escape. After I got back from Turkey I found myself going to high-intensity workouts and binge-watching Turkish drama for hours and hours. Anything for me to not think. As a mindfulness practitioner, it was another level of frustration. Witnessing how little control I have over my head and body. So I logged off from social media, and gave myself in for poetry, movies, books, and travel; searching for a reminder; that this world is beautiful, art matters and I am okay.
I traveled to Chicago and stayed with a close friend. It was so rejuvenating to explore a new city together, I went to New Jersey and stayed with one of my best friends, together we organized a menstruation circle event with Turkish women in NYC, got to meet amazing people, and established a base for the community. It was an unforgettable memory. I went to art museums, read so many books and poems, and watched many movies that were on my list of recommendations. I connected with my friends more. I fed my soul as best as I knew how to and took another step towards healing and maintaining my inner peace despite the chaotic world.
As the weather got colder and the days got shorter, I permitted myself to have a slow January. I always hated the saying “New year, new me” I would make lists of resolutions, all the things I will change within myself, all the new habits new rules, and new schedules. It would come from the lack of compassion that I have for myself. After all, I believed for a long time, that to be worthy of anything, I have to be perfect. So I would work the hardest, to achieve all the unrealistic goals and meet the unrealistic expectations.
This year, I said, "New Year, Same Me" is a declaration of self-acceptance and a celebration of personal growth without the pressure of radical transformation. It doesn't mean stagnation or resistance to positive change; rather, it's a commitment to building upon existing strengths and continuing the journey of self-discovery.
For those who resonate with this mantra, the new year becomes an opportunity to refine rather than reinvent. It takes away the huge pressure we put on ourselves. It's a chance to set realistic goals, cherish achievements, and learn from experiences without discarding the essence of who they are. The focus shifts from external expectations to internal contentment, emphasizing the importance of self-love and self-compassion. It suggests a conscious decision to evolve organically. It's an acknowledgment that personal growth is a gradual process, and genuine change stems from authenticity rather than external pressures.
In a society that often promotes the pursuit of perfection, embracing one's authentic self can be a radical act. It challenges the notion that the only path to improvement is through radical transformation. It encourages us to appreciate our unique qualities and recognize that personal growth is a continuous journey, not a destination reached with the changing of a calendar.
So, as the clock ticked towards the new year, I raised a toast to the person I’ve become, celebrating the victories, overcoming the challenges, and looking forward to the future with a sense of continuity. In a world that constantly pushes for change, "New Year, Same Me" is a reminder that the journey of self-discovery is a lifelong adventure, and the most authentic version of oneself is always a work in progress.
Love,
Burcu
Hi Burcu, so nice to see you here—welcome to Substack :) new year same me indeed—so easy to forget that time is ever-continuing, much like our own growth and self-knowledge!